Birthparents

Over the last four years the Lord has obviously been working in the lives and hearts of Ryan's birthparents. We are so blessed to have an open and wonderful relationship with his birthmother, Becky, even though we live a thousand miles apart. Last spring she called and told me that she and Ryan's birthfather, Dorian, were going to get married! He is serving in the military and they ended up postponing the wedding several times due to Dorian's duties being prolonged in Korea, but last month they were able to finally get married. I'm very happy for them and for their daughter Parker, Ryan's birthsister (she's one year and one day older than Ryan).

Becky emailed these wedding pictures and graciously allowed me to post them here! I showed Ryan the pictures (he recognized Becky right away) and told him that they just got married. He said, "Oh." LOL. He knows he's adopted and is very familiar with his birth story, but I don't think he really grasps much of what that means yet.

Sprinkles

Even though Ryan has had this stuffed hippo since the day he was born, it's only been the last couple months that they have become almost inseparable. His name is Sprinkles, and we bought him when we were first told that we had been chosen to be Ryan's parents. Sprinkles got lost once in WinCo when Ryan was about six months old, but Daddy went back and "rescued" him (I was more upset at that point than Ryan was). Thankfully he was in the lost and found and didn't go home with some little child.

Ryan was allowed to take comfort items with him into surgery, and he took his blankie and Sprinkles. He calls Sprinkles his "baby," and he takes very good care of him. When I told Ryan that we were getting his picture taken today, he asked if he could bring Sprinkles and have his picture taken too. So we brought him along and put him in one of the pictures. The poor hippo is well-loved and very shabby looking, but Ryan loves him to death!

Birthday Pictures

We got Ryan's four-year-old pictures taken today, and they turned out really cute so I thought I'd share them here. We usually go to Kiddie Kandids because I usually have a coupon or a special deal, and my favorite thing is that they let you purchase the pictures on disc and you own the copyright. We send lots of pictures to family and birthparents, and I love being able to print whatever I want whenever I want!

Doctor Appointments

Ryan had two doctor appointments today. The first was his four-year checkup. He fought and fussed even though we kept reassuring him that he wasn't even going to get a shot. I think the reason he was so uptight was that the last time he had his weight and blood pressure checked he had eye surgery and woke up in pain! Anyway, he's in the 15 percentile in height and 50 percentile in weight. It's no wonder everyone keeps asking if he and Abby are twins...he's not growing very tall very fast and she's almost caught up with him!

His second appointment was the one-month follow-up with his eye surgeon. He has healed great and his vision is really good. He most likely won't need to have another surgery, but as expected, we didn't get a full correction of his strabismus. He still crosses a fair amount up close, but at distance there is much improvement. The surgeon said that may be the best we can do for him. He crosses much more with his glasses off than with them on, so he will be wearing those for quite some time, if not forever. Time will tell. Overall though, I am pleased with the results and now that it's over, I'm glad we did it for him.

Not a Thief

On Sunday we visited another church on our search for a church home. Eddie took Ryan to his Sunday School room and introduced him to the teacher. The young woman was trying to make friends with him and said, "Do you want to walk down the hall with me and steal some Band-aids?" Ryan gave her a horrified and scared look and shook his head NO! She thought he just didn't trust her, but Daddy told her it was the word she used...steal. She apoligized and explained her poor choice of words, and he felt much better after that. I don't know what we ever did to instill the Thou Shalt Not Steal Lesson so effectively, but I'm glad he has learned it. We are so proud of him!

Quiet Time

Well, I've finally given up trying to get Ryan to take an actual nap. Ever since he's stopped sucking his thumb, he's not been sleeping at naptime. I guess he doesn't need as much sleep as previously and without his thumb lulling him to sleep he just can't. However, I'm not ready to give up my one hour of quiet time each day, so I've struck a compromise with him. He doesn't have to lay on his bed for an hour trying to get to sleep anymore...IF he will play quietly or read books for an hour so I can have my quiet hour and maybe even take the occasional nap. (He may not need them, but I swear I still do!) He's been doing this for about a week now, and he's been doing great. He takes a few cars and books on his bed and sits there reading or playing quietly until I tell him the hour is up. He's much happier at naptime now and so am I since I don't have to answer the "Can I get up now?" question a million times!

Follow the Leader

Ryan is quite the leader. Wherever we go it seems like he just naturally takes charge. When we go to the park, even kids much older than him will follow whatever game he's playing. Unfortunately, he is often bossy too. I usually try to moderate what he's telling Abby to do, but today Abby seemed to be so enjoying following him around I just left well enough alone. They got to actually play in our backyard for the first time today. I hasn't rained for several days in a row, and the yard was dry enough to let them go out and enjoy the sunshine. They played for four hours! Ryan was busy making up games to play, and Abby was just joyfully doing whatever he wanted. It was wonderful to see them playing so well together. I'm trying to teach Ryan to let Abby choose the game sometimes too, and hopefully it's sinking in. But for today, I was happy to just let them enjoy their "roles."

All Buttoned Up

We've been working on learning to do buttons for quite a while now, and I've known Ryan could do it if he really tried at all. Yesterday was the day he decided he would try, and guess what? He can button buttons! I knew he could, but now he knows he can, and he's pretty pleased with himself.

Some of his other more recent accomplishments are brushing and flossing his teeth by himself. He uses a "flosser," and he can do all but the very back teeth himself. I usually brush his teeth afterwards, just to make sure they're getting cleaned well, but he does a really good job all by himself. Yesterday he also announced he was going to learn to do the zipper all by himself! Pretty soon he won't need me for anything...sniff.

Cookie Maker

For some reason I cannot convince Ryan to taste cookie dough. I keep telling him he will love it, but he's not buying it. So while Abby enjoyed licking the beater, Ryan helped me scoop cookies onto the cookie sheet. He's a good helper...he even helped eat them after they were baked.

New Bike

Months ago after his first dental appointment, we told Ryan that if he could stop sucking his thumb by his birthday we would get him a bike. He promptly told us he wanted a green one with training wheels and a basket! Well, except for one small regression right before we moved (probably stress), Ryan immediately stopped sucking his thumb. We are so proud of him, and it was fun giving him his new bike...green with training wheels but no basket. We can't find any baskets for boys yet, so we'll keep looking. He did great on his first time out around the neighborhood. He's squinting in this picture, but I don't know if it's because of his eye surgery or because today was the first day in months we've actually seen the sun! It was very gracious of the Lord to give us sun for Ryan's birthday celebration.

Happy Birthday, Ryan!

Though it doesn't seem possible, Ryan is turning four tomorrow. He's grown up so much in the last year. We had a small get-together at our new house on Sunday. Nonna (Ed's mom) came and so did Robin and Jakey (one of Ryan's best friends).

I asked Ryan what kind of cake he wanted for his birthday and what he wanted me to fix for dinner. He chose hot dogs and Cheetos for dinner, and he said he wanted to eat at his little table. So I fixed up their little table with a tablecloth and placecards.

As for the cake, he said he wanted a green delivery truck that said, "Ryan's Delivery." That's what I get for asking! Though this isn't one of my best cakes, Ryan loved it, which is all that matters (at least that's what I keep telling myself).

I helped Abby pick out a gift for Ryan for his birthday, and this little truck is what she chose. She helped me wrap it too. I think it is Ryan's favorite gift that he got, coming in a close second is the remote control car that Nonna gave him. He had a great day with lots of fun gifts. Happy Birthday, Ryan! I love you so much.

Helping Abby

Now that the kids have their own rooms, I am having them learn how to make their own beds. Ryan's is still difficult since he's still in the bunk beds (though now on the bottom), but Abby's is now wonderfully easy to make with access on both sides. I sent Ryan and Abby in to start making their beds while I was finishing up breakfast dishes. I heard Ryan saying, "I'll help you, Abby," so I went to see what was going on. I walked in and saw him showing her how to make her bed, and they were doing a great job! It was neat to see them working together on it. Much to my surprise, Ryan had already finished making his bed, and he did a fair job of it too. It's so bittersweet to see them growing up.

Another Case in Point

In my last post I was describing one of the ways it seems that Ryan is maturing, and I had to share one other. We have been trying to work on teaching our children to be grateful, and one of the tangible ways I try to do that is when we are leaving a fun place. It took quite some time, but for the last year or so neither Ryan nor Abby has thrown a fit or gotten upset when we have to leave some place where they have been having fun (actually Abby never has). However, I have been trying to teach them to thank me for taking them to the park or playground or wherever when we are leaving in addition to leaving with a good attitude.

Yesterday it was raining (still), and I needed to get out of the house as much as the kids did. So we ran a couple of errands and then we went to McDonald's for lunch. Neither of my kids like the food there, but they LOVE to play on the play structure! They choked down their McNuggets (Abby had a salad...gotta love that girl!), and ran off to play. They were having a great time, but some rowdy older boys came in and we had to leave sooner than I was planning. As we were getting shoes on, Ryan looked at me and sweetly said, "Thanks for taking us here, Mommy. We had lots of fun!" I wanted to cry! How sweet those victorious moments are when something you've been teaching actually sticks!

Maturing

I don't know if it's his age, his recent surgery, or all of our skillful parenting (cough, cough), but Ryan seems to have matured so much in the last couple of weeks. It's so neat to see some things we've been working on with him suddenly come to fruition! One case in point is dinnertime. Ryan is not a big eater, and he is very picky. However, I refuse to cater to him so we serve him the same thing that everyone else is eating for dinner. Our rules are pretty simple: He must eat one bite of everything, and if he doesn't like it after one bite, he doesn't have to eat any more. Daddy and I think we're being more than fair since we were both required to eat more than one bite of things we didn't like (I can still gag thinking about the pile of banana squash I had to choke down).

Ryan used to eat whatever I gave him until one fateful day in December when he was about ten months old. He just stopped, and he's never resumed since. It's been a battle at dinner time for over three years. I decided we probably picked the wrong battle and should have never made an issue out of it, but having picked the battle, we stuck with it. Well, one or two nights before we moved, Ryan ate his bites without the usual disciplinary actions required! I asked Daddy if he thought we'd turned a corner, and he said, "No." I didn't either, but one can hope.

Well, I am so joyful and pleased to report that we haven't had to discipline him to take his bites since that day! What a difference it makes in our dinner time. I still wish he would eat more, but he's taking his bites and not fussing about it! He has even decided he liked a few of the things he had to taste. I have been a parent long enough to know that he may regress, but for now we are savoring the sweet taste of victory!! I'm so proud of you, Ryan!

Still Squinting

We took Gramie to OMSI before she left so she could see the kids enjoying her gift, our one-year membership. We haven't been for several months, and Ryan had a great time. In addition to his usual favorites of the cranes and sandbox, he also built a styrofoam building and played with playdough. He is still closing this one eye off and on, but I think it's less than it was. The doctor said to just wait and see how he does until his next appointment at the end of February. She thinks his brain is just trying to adjust to his new vision. I'm thinking of calling him Popeye though!

More Details

I know my last post about the surgery was very long and detailed, but I thought of some other things that might be of interest to anyone who might be undergoing a similar surgery. In one of my earlier posts I wrote that they had told us that the surgery was quick and involved very little pain, that he probably wouldn't even need Tylenol after the initial hospital dose.

Well, we found out the day before the actual surgery at our pre-op appointment that they would actually need to do a little more extensive surgery than they initially thought. The surgeon said they would need to cut and reposition four muscles instead of just two because of the kind of crossing Ryan has. Instead of a quick surgery, she said it would probably take two and a half hours. In reality it took just under two hours. Dr. Goodman said that his eyes would probably ache for a couple days, and we should give him double doses of Tylenol for the next couple days if he needed it. He was in quite a bit of pain the first day, and we certainly gave him the Tylenol as soon as he was able to get the next dose. His eyes were quite red for over a week, and he even had some bruising under one eye.

I was really impressed and proud of my little boy. He's normally quite a whiner, but he was an absolute trooper! The stitches dissolve, but they feel grainy and sandy the first several days, the doctor said. He wanted to rub his eyes, but he was pretty good about leaving them alone. We had to put in an antibiotic gel into his eyes three times a day, which he abhored! But overall, his recovery has been very quick, and he seems to have matured a bit since this whole ordeal. He's been brave at his two follow-up appointments and very cooperative for the doctor. We won't know how successful the surgery was for another month or so, but so far it looks quite good.

More Presents

Gramie came to help us out with Ryan's surgery and ended up helping us move, celebrating Christmas with us, and celebrating Ryan's birthday some too! It's hard to believe Ryan will be four next week. Gramie gave him some Finding Nemo undies, a puzzle, and some skates (complete with helmet, knee and elbow guards). Daddy and I were skeptical if he would even want to try them, but he loved them! Our new laminate floor is really slick, but once we put him on his new road rug, he did great. He did far better than I thought he would, and he really loved skating. Who knew? It will be nice when the rain stops to take them outside, but then we will have to gear him up with helmet and pads!

Late Christmas

We didn't really celebrate Christmas fully last month because we were going to move and we knew my mom would be coming for Ryan's surgery. So while she was here, we finished giving our gifts, opening gifts from friends and family, and had a nice dinner to celebrate a late Christmas.

As you can see, Ryan is closing one eye a lot since his surgery. I don't know if he's adjusting to his new vision or if that eye hurts more or what. That eye was bruised and more red than the other one, but it's always been the eye he seems to close more.

We got this road rug for Ryan last summer, and he's been asking about it ever since (so much for being able to buy presents with him in attendance). He loves roads and cars, and this is perfect for him, plus it adds a nice effect to our new living room. Ha!

Surgery Details

After playing for a while in the play room, the nurse called us back to his bed and gave him some meds. The nurse was impressed with how willingly he took his meds. They gave him some Tylenol and some Versed. The Versed took about a minute and a half to start working, and he was pretty loopy! It's supposed to relax the patient, but it relaxed me too.

About ten minutes later they walked all of us down to the operating floor. Poor Ryan was trying to tell us something, but all I could understand was "go back." I knew he was a little scared but the Versed seemed to be helping him. We were allowed to wait with him in the pre-op room, and we talked to the nurses and the anesthesiologist who would be attending Ryan. Next, Dr. Goodman, our surgeon, came in and talked to us for a while.

Then the dreaded moment was upon us. I was worried about how he would respond when they took him from us, but he was so out of it, he didn't notice a thing! We waited for almost two hours, and then the doctor came and said everything went great. What a relief that it was over and my baby was all right!

We only had to wait another fifteen minutes or so before they came and got one of us to go back into the post-op room with Ryan. Ed was gracious enough to let this worried Mommy go, though I know he wanted to go too.

Ryan was still out when I got back there, and they had just given him something for nausea. I guess because he was sweating profusely they knew he was nauseous. The nurse told me that for some reason, the eye muscle surgery patients always seem to get very nauseous. I talked to him and stroked his head and arms. He stirred a little, but not too much. When he finally roused somewhat, the first thing he said was "Where's Daddy?" I was going to go swap out with Ed, but they said it was time to take him back upstairs to his room and we'd pick up Daddy on the way.

So back we went to the recovery room for another hour or so. All the other children in our room were awake and eating popsicles and drinking soda. They don't give the eye muscle surgery patients anything since they are usually so nauseous. I felt bad for Ryan, but he didn't seem to notice. We had removed his eye patch, and he could have looked around if he wanted to, but it was just too painful to open his eyes. He laid there quietly with his eyes closed for over an hour. Finally, we determined he wasn't sleeping, only keeping his eyes closed and resting. So they got his vitals again, and then said we could take him home. We got him dressed, gathered his things, and home we went, approximately six hours after we arrived.

I guess Ryan's flu bug was a blessing in disguise because on the way home he told us he thought we was going to throw up, so we had time to pull over and get him out of the van before he actually vomitted. If he hadn't been sick just the week before, I know he wouldn't have known what that feeling was. That was the only incident he had, and he rested his eyes the rest of the way home. What a relief to be home and to have the surgery behind us.

I'm so grateful to God for watching over Ryan. He is so faithful! I am grateful too for all the prayers that have been prayed on Ryan's and all of our behalf! We had as much peace as I imagine one can have during something like this. Thank you, Lord, family, and friends!

Early Morning Before Surgery

The alarm is so unwelcome at 4:00am! We let Ryan sleep as long as possible, but we still had to wake him at about 4:45am. I was just going to put him in the car in his jammies, but he insisted on getting dressed. So after we got him dressed, grabbed his blankie and favorite buddy (Sprinkles), we were off to the hospital. I was hoping he would go back to sleep on the ride in, but he was wide awake.

After we checked in and filled out the appropriate paperwork, we were taken to his bed where he was given some jammies to wear (very scratchy and uncomfortable looking to me...not to mention pink). After some preliminary vitals (he weighs 34 pounds), we were allowed to go into the play room for a while. Ryan rode each of the three little cars they had there, but this little coup was his favorite.